why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
