Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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