one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
