I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
