Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
