Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
