Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
