we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
