So drunk its hurt
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
