you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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