just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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