Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
