Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize