I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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