She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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