I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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