He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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