Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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