made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
