i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
