theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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