So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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