I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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