I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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