Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
