Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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