nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
