i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
