i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
