come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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