maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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