i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
