Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
