what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
