I never want to see another naked old woman again.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
