I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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