Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
