somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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