are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
