His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have fence marks all over my body
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
