He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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