I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize