I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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