I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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