so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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