Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have aggressive nipples.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
