I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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