i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
