My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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