Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
