So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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