you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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