Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
