Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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