the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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