Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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